Grownups

A lot of people who I grew up with ended up living in Europe. When I think about this, I think about why I didn't. That's the way my brain works. Whether I want it to or not. I think about this as I listen to two women next to me talking about their divorces. One says "I got tired of hearing what people thought about it when i was in the middle of it. I was like 'look, I'm a grownup. I have a right to be happy.'"

Happy--that ever evasive state of being. Happy, that grownup quest that sounds phony when people say it aloud. Maybe cause it usually couples something naughty or miserable when it's being said. Like this is Jim, my lover. He makes me happy. The kids are happy. Why can't I be happy? OR staying in a life that feels like a rehearsal for a better life. "I'm happy" cause nothing horrible is happening.

Recently grownups who got laid off are pursuing what they really wanted to do.

More later-baby woke up

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