The prodigal blog returns

I'd like to apologize to my loyal readers for my sudden disappearance from the virtual world, and my surrendering into the actual world. The virtual world felt redundant for a while, like washing my face after I took a shower, or tying my Velcro shoes.

Part of my vanishing came from working in a school, where instant virtual paranoia set in. Other teachers warned me-the parents will read your work and hold it against you. These post-drunk dialers who were now parents, were going to Google my name and what they would find was this panoply of indiscretions, confessions and unrole-model like behavior. They were going to be angry at me for not going to PTA meetings, and even angrier at how many times I drove to New Orleans on an hour sleep. In their longing, they were going to spit up hairballs of venom and get me an Expose on the local news. Local teacher HAD LIFE. Ex-editors, now parents, may even spot some misspellings and ex-travel agents may see some allusions to premarital vacation travel.

The first order of protection I put into action was password protection. Those who have not been given the password cannot enter, unless they are very savvy and have way too much time on their virtual hands(this could be a problem-I teach the affluent).  The second security provision I facilitated was to stop writing("that'll learn'em"). It is indeed difficult to write when you feel the hot disappointed breath of a second grade parent on your neck's nape. It is like drowning in birthday cake batter.

The third lockage I concocted was to stop thinking of myself as a writer. That was easy. I mean, I didn't entirely erase the file, but I labeled it "later, grasshopper" and eked away from it when it fell asleep. It woke up island locked and yet oddly relieved.

So, later grasshopper found its way back and Why have I returned?  Hard to say clearly, but I'll try.

Part 1
..I was thinking last night of how my nightmares stopped and I realized that the star of all my nightmares had been Mr. Clean. I have a messy core; objects fall down around me, my earrings fly off when my fingers run through my hair, I do not know where dishes go,my forks change drawers.
Back to my nightmare. True story. My nightmares, starring Mr. Clean(no kidding),  heedlessly chased me through my night terrors for decades, pulling me from the sky, ripping my family members  in parts, stealing my shoe, always my left shoe.

Part 2. I realized that time has been folding in pairs for the past two days-every experience and conversation was happening twice. Ergo, the masters of the universe have begun sending me identical twin clues(so as I don't miss them the first time), identical experiences born two days apart- but folded, these clues are perfectly symmetrical. My door runneth open.

Part 3
Needless to say, as the school year comes to a close, my madness returns in echoes. I see an old friend from the art institute, an old friend from the library, I buy 10 new books. My cup opens. And and and I miss this page of me. Shalom. I am back.

Comments

[karen]

Glad you are back. I hope you stay awhile! Love, Mom